I should stop watching horror movies.

Or just stop writing essays right before bed.

I got up last night at about 4am, and I walked into the bathroom to find a spider on the wall.

First thought that came to my mind was "Alright. If I don't kill the spider now, it's just going to eat me in my sleep." Obviously. Because that's what spiders do.

But whatever. I was half asleep and it seemed like infallible logic at the time.

So I killed the spider. But then I thought to myself "What if the spider was trying to become a mother? And all she wanted to do was make a nice home for herself and her future children in my bathroom?" And I realized that in my murderous quest to protect myself from being eaten, I destroyed the dream of a tiny, unsuspecting spider.

Moral of the story? Don't do essays before bed. They put you on a murderous path that leads to destruction for all.